One Saturday

A headline in the paper read“Religious nut and freak is dead.”
The spokesman for the Pharisees
Explained (while looking very pleased),
“This man had caused us lots of trouble,
We had to get him on the double.

He claimed he was the Chosen One,
Almighty God, His only Son.
We Pharisees weren’t having that! – 
Even worse, he claimed he’d sat
At God’s right hand in heaven above
And will again. You know, I’d love
To see that day, but won’t of course –
For that man’s words are just a source
Of claptrap and of blasphemy,
That’s why we killed him, can’t you see?
He drew the crowds with clever tricks –
They even claimed he’d healed the sick.
The blind can see (or so they claim)
And crippled people walk again!
But that’s not all – you’ll laugh at this –
A dead man (said with emphasis)
Was brought back to life at his word –
This claim’s preposterous, quite absurd.
We all know that dead men don’t walk
About, or eat and drink and talk.
It’s clear to me they’ve all been had.
Poor, simple people fooled – how sad!
At first we’d tried to humour him
Until he got beneath our skin.
He insulted us, called us snakes,
Told us that we were on the make.
We couldn’t take it any more,
That really was the final straw.
We had him silenced, put to death,
This carpenter from Nazareth.
Let’s see him speak against us now –
As he’s dead, I can’t see how!
He could rise again and death defy.”
The spokesman spat, “And pigs might fly!”